Wasting time on the Internets since 1994

Wasting time on the Internets since 1994

someecards.com - These elastic waist jeggings are going to look great with my crocs! Said no one ever... www.talktosuzie.com

Soooo….made my first someecard today. One of those things I’ve been wanting to do for a while (I’ve got lots of stuff in my head, folks) and today I thought, “what the hell.” I had a ten minute overlap of naps and I just went for it.

The inspiration for this card came to me at Walmart. I was trying to find a tunnel away  from the Hello Kitty items that Jamie was trying to pick up (they seriously had that stuff situated in every corner of the store- it’s like crack for 2 year old girls!) and came across some jeggings. At first I thought I scored and then I saw the elastic waist band…

Now, don’t get me wrong, ever since I had kids, I LOVE elastic waist bands with a capital L. However, I reminded myself of the crocs I bought that were supposed to be for “school only” and how I wear them everywhere now. Don’t judge- I clean poop, pee, and vomit on the reg so it is quite the luxury to be able to hose my shoes off.

Also, the elastic waist band was reminiscent of my Granny’s old jeans.

Long story short, I have embarked on a new career of making someecards.

What do you think?

Do I stand a chance?

And, just for shits and giggles, you should vote for my card if you like it if only because I am vain and find thrills from small things like that.

Last  but not least, let’s do an age check.

The title of my post said I’ve been wasting time on the nets since 1994. My first experience was on PRODIGY. Who else remembers this? Or, does this give away the fact I’m not actually 29.

Crap.

PS- You can breath a sigh of relief now. I did not buy Walmart jeggings with an elastic waist band. Just sayin.

 

Living room coup- check!

Living room coup- check!

In light of my resolution to simplify my life, I am going room by room getting things organized and dumping the junk. I mentioned in a previous post that Matt and I were going to get our living room back from the kids. Well, on Saturday we did!!

New living room:

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New is relative since the couches and furniture are all the same. But, the layout is different and the baby jail is gone and over to the side of the room. This leaves a very distinct adult living room area which we were lacking since Jamie came along.

Old living room for reference:

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We did get one new thing not pictured- a brand new flat screen tv!

Here’s what Jamie had to say about the new living room…..”Mama! Look at the big giant tv!”

Also, we have a coffee table, but I’m waiting until our little bruiser (aka Austin the chunk-a-monk) becomes a little less accident prone.

In other news, Just Dance on the Wii is so much more fun on the “big giant tv.”

Sleep deprivation to a whole new level

Sleep deprivation to a whole new level

Folks, after more than 8 straight months with less than 5 hours of sleep a night, I can now confirm that I am certifiable. My brain is complete mush.

Today, after discussing subjects along the line of what kind of iPad to buy and wi-fi, and possibly mini vans were mentioned, my brain started going into a mini melt-down mode. At lunch, I had called Matt to further discuss a possible iPad purchase, but had to cut the conversation short when a student came in to talk to me (it’s like they expect me to work at this place they call a job! Blah!). Matt and I continued to miss each other back in forth in a game of phone tag in between my classes. At one point, it becomes my turn to call back. However, before I get the chance, I see my voicemail light flashing.

Here’s the thing, I’m pretty sure I have some sort of on-set adult ADD, because that flashing light was so distracting, I totally forgot what I was doing and decided to check it before calling Matt back. Even better, I completely forgot while checking my voicemail that I was doing that first and thought that I was calling Matt.

Are you confused, yet?

Cause, I was!

People, I actually had an entire conversation with a voicemail message.. This was a real conversation in which I greet him and respond to some of his remarks. I know you are nodding your head like this seems impossible, but either there were natural pauses that allowed me to do this, or I was hallucinating (probably the latter).

Here is the clincher…at the end when he said “bye,” I responded, “wait I have to tell you something!” This was the point where he disconnects and I suddenly realize that I am talking to a message not a live person. Oh, and the clarity of the fact that I might be 100% insane also become apparent.

Doh.

Someone save me. Or get me a Xanax and some wine. Whatever is easier.

Thankyouverymuch.

Guess what?? It does pay to be passive aggressive…

Guess what?? It does pay to be passive aggressive…

Folks, I’m here to tell you tonight that it does pay to be passive aggressive. All those people telling you it is best to just be “honest” or that you should “get things off your chest” were WRONG!

Case in point: for the last decade I have taught on the straight in arrow. I respond to emails in a timely fashion and proactively call parents.

The last year or so, I’ve been too busy and overwhelmed to do that. So, this means I stopped calling parents unless I have to, and I *gasp* sometimes ignore or delete emails without reading them.

Last semester I got a little annoyed with this lady I work with to get the kids out in the community to teach. So, instead of telling her what my problem is, I ignore her emails to set up another event his year. Passive aggressiveness at it’s best- avoiding confrontation whenever possible.

Tonight, I got an email from her letting me know that I’ve been awarded an outstanding educator award from her organization and could I please send her a headshot of myself?

Mmmmm k. I’m confused, but errr thank you very much, I guess.

I wonder what I did to get that?

We’ve got named storms up in here!

We’ve got named storms up in here!

I know hurricane season ends at the end of November here in Florida, but in the Tow house we have two named storms all year long, “Hurricane Jamie” and “Hurricane Austin.” It’s so bad that anytime we invite an OCD person over I can just see them start to convulse trying to come up with a futile clean up effort.

Just the other day my dad was over and he literally picked up lego’s 6 times. No exaggeration- 6 times! Finally, when I realized what was going on I screamed, “Daddy! Put.the.legos.down! We have a hard fast rule here that no one picks up until the kids are in bed!” And my dad is like, “I’m just trying to help..” And I let him know he’s going to give himself a heart attack or stroke or something if he keeps it up.

Anyhow, tonight as I struggle to get both my kids in bed, cause apparently, “Not all days can be like yesterday,” my mom is trying to pick up blocks and such.

Austin, with all his cuteness starts following her around reminiscent of Igor…

Visual:

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Photo found here

And, I was like, “Mom, are you crazy?! Give the boy his blocks! He’s a biter!”

So, yeah. We live in a perpetual state of “toy’s r us” vomit that we just can’t seem to get away from.

Doesn’t that sound delicious?

In the meantime, Matt and I are strategizing a coup to claim our living room back.

Old living room:

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New living room: coming soon…

I can’t divulge any details for fear one of the wee ones will try to overthrow our big attempt at a more adult friendly space. Jamie can get into my phone and on the Internet to find Mickey Mouse Club, it’s only a matter of time before she finds this blog.

Also, Austin did bite me tonight while I tried to forage a piece of cardboard out of his mouth. I swear he clamped down like one of those snapping turtles that you have to cut the heads off in order to remove their mouth from their victim. For a minute I got worried I might have to do the same to Austin, but we’re all good. Finger removed. Austin still has his head.

And, since all my kids still have their body parts, looks like it was a good day after all! Yay!

It’s a Christmas miracle, or, err, um…whatever!

It’s a Christmas miracle, or, err, um…whatever!

It’s only taken about…oh, I dunno…maybe 3 or so years but I finally made a nice home cooked meal for my husband (without it being a special
occasion)! Can you believe it?!

Proof:

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Ooooohhh….ahhhhhh…that’s gravy folks. Proud, no?

Did you notice the presentation of a REAL plate and REAL flatware? Only the best for my hubby. No paper plates or plastic forks for him! No, sir!

I’m doing the dishes now as we speak. I mean, if it counts that I loaded and started the dishwasher, then I am doing dishes (semantics). Also, I’ve got a load of laundry in the dryer and I submitted an article to the Guidepost today.

Did I mention that somehow the kids and I had a 3 hour nap this afternoon? Good Lord, it was like heaven. I actually thought it was morning when I woke up and I was confused that it was still the same day. I haven’t had one of those kinda of sleeps in FOREVER. In fact, I may have even had a dream. Weird, right?

What’s wrong with today? Am I in some kind of twilight zone or is this just the best day ever??