The last few years have been very uncomfortable for me. On one hand, I can clearly see that I have had some pretty big life changes in the last 5 years. Understandably, life changes are uncomfortable and scary.
However, that’s not what I really mean. There is much more to my discomfort, things that only adulting can bring to life. Good ole, adulting….*rolls eyes
Today, my wise 7 year old daughter said, “Mom, mistakes are proof that you were trying.”
Um, ok Jedi Master.
It’s funny the things you think about as you get closer to forty, I mean thirty. I realize I have been very complacent in life. When I was kid, I never really had a bucket list. I was fortunate to have done a great deal of travel before I was 18, and I have never been an adventurer. My list was simple:
1. Get married
2. Be a mom
3. Buy a house
4. Go to Spain
5. Go to Australia
6. Write a book and get it published
4-6: work in progress
I kind of laugh about these, because they are all attainable goals, and yet it’s not like I have accomplished them all or even succeeded at the ones I have accomplished. More importantly, they are all pretty safe.
Recently, I have had to rethink some of these goals. Don’t get me wrong- 4 through 6 remain, I just need to add to it. I mean, what was my actual life plan here? Career? Life Path? I didn’t have one. So, here I am trying to make one, and it is (you guessed it!) UNCOMFORTABLE.
I have also been thinking about these two jobs (in the past) that I didn’t apply to, that I was definitely educated enough and professionally capable of doing. The only difference between me and the candidates who got them was that they took a risk that I was afraid to take.
I didn’t take the risk because they were high paying jobs and I didn’t believe I was good enough for these positions. I was afraid to fail.
WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL?!
Anywho, the reason I tell you this is because last summer I did end up applying for a high paying (ok, higher than what I make now- by $25k) and I didn’t get it, BUT I made it to the final two interview. It was a BIG DEAL for me!! I mean, someone else got it, but I was good enough to get to final interviews. Why have I not been reaching higher?? Also, who else gets excited about *not* getting a job?? Ha!
So, lately I am reaching higher. And it is very uncomfortable. It’s uncomfortable because it includes taking risks- something, I have been avoiding for most of my life. However, life is all about perceptions. So, I’m on a quest to change my perceptions:
Out: “I’m afraid to take risks and fail!”
In: “It’s ok to make mistakes! At least I tried! Go for it!”
Thank you, Jedi Master, for reminding me that it is ok to make mistakes. xoxo