Still slowly going certifiable over here…

Still slowly going certifiable over here…

Well, I’ve been in another state of funkiness that I blame 100% on lack of sleep. How long can a person go without REM before going cray cray? Anyway, as usual this is making me a little loopy.

For instance, today I had an epiphany, while driving, that I need to market a diet called LC Squared (or it would have the little 2 next to the C but my phone won’t do that).

LC stands for “Less Calories,” and “Lots of Caffeine.”

Genius no? Plus it sounds better than the “College Girl Diet,” and it’s catchy. Also, let us not forget I’ve lost like 65 pounds doing that.

In other news, I also feel very strongly right now that I need to start stamping metal and have even looked at metal stamping kits. Don’t you just loved stamped jewelry? Let’s not worry about the part where I don’t even have half a millisecond to devote to this new hobby.

Come on.

Hand stamped jewelry.

So puurrrttttyyy!

Alright. I guess I’ll just go to bed then…

My 2013 Parenting Resolution

My 2013 Parenting Resolution

The American Academy of Pediatrics discourages screen time for children under age two and recommends one to two hours for older children. However, if you are a parent like me, then you know that this can be difficult to do. The daily grind of balancing work, family, and home obligations can make it convenient for parents to rely on screen time to occupy their children while they attend to other matters. It is not uncommon to see small children watching videos on a parent’s phone as they walk through the grocery store aisles. I admit…[Continue Reading]

Crocs! I love/hate you!

Crocs! I love/hate you!

So, today I am wearing tights (becaues it is cold) with crocs.

Does this say to you, “Hi, I’m hiding bunions?”

Or, “I like to look like a nurse and not actually be one. It prevents me from seeing all the yucky stuff and yet have all the glory.”

Whatever. It feels amazing and I love being able to hose my shoes down at the end of the day.

Crocs, why must you torture me so with your ugliness and lack of fashion trend??


Ok, let’s move on from my rubber addiction and move on to bigger and better things, like how I went shopping the other day and actually enjoyed it.

This may seem like a simple task for many of you, but when you have been trapped in someone else’s body (or rather babies have been trapped in you) for the better part of three years, it’s not so fun to shop when you have enough skin on your belly you could actually form another human.

And then there was “Perfect Form” at White House Black Market. I must admit that I fell in love with myself all over again. (ok, not really, but sort of).


Who needs to lose weight when there is perfect form, curvy skinny’s, and spanks?

I love you like I love my ice cream, Perfect Form….

Since when did Jamie become a person?

Since when did Jamie become a person?

Lately, I’ve been so surprised over many of the things that Jamie says and does. I mean, I always knew she was a person, but I’m really starting to see this person in full force.

For instance, I got a new ipad and Jamie and I had a whole conversation about this that went something like this…

Jamie pointing to the ipad: “Mama, Dinosaur Train!”
Me: “Ok, I”ll go put it on the tv”
Jamie pointing to ipad again: ” No, there!”
Me: “No, that’s Mama’s”
Jamie: “No, mine!”
Me: “Mama’s.”
Jamie: “MINE!”

And, folks it went on like that for a full 5 minutes back and forth before Austin pulled it off the table and it landed on the floor.

Lately she says things like, “Boo’s a cutie!” Or, “Mama, so gorgeous! Jamie gorgeous, too!”

One day she got mad at Matt and told him to “GO TO WORK, DADA!”

And then there was tonight…..where she sat in her Tinkerbell rocker and let me know in just her skimpies that, “I NOT GO NIGHT NIGHT, MAMA! NO!”


I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry….

Wasting time on the Internets since 1994

Wasting time on the Internets since 1994 - These elastic waist jeggings are going to look great with my crocs! Said no one ever...

Soooo….made my first someecard today. One of those things I’ve been wanting to do for a while (I’ve got lots of stuff in my head, folks) and today I thought, “what the hell.” I had a ten minute overlap of naps and I just went for it.

The inspiration for this card came to me at Walmart. I was trying to find a tunnel away  from the Hello Kitty items that Jamie was trying to pick up (they seriously had that stuff situated in every corner of the store- it’s like crack for 2 year old girls!) and came across some jeggings. At first I thought I scored and then I saw the elastic waist band…

Now, don’t get me wrong, ever since I had kids, I LOVE elastic waist bands with a capital L. However, I reminded myself of the crocs I bought that were supposed to be for “school only” and how I wear them everywhere now. Don’t judge- I clean poop, pee, and vomit on the reg so it is quite the luxury to be able to hose my shoes off.

Also, the elastic waist band was reminiscent of my Granny’s old jeans.

Long story short, I have embarked on a new career of making someecards.

What do you think?

Do I stand a chance?

And, just for shits and giggles, you should vote for my card if you like it if only because I am vain and find thrills from small things like that.

Last  but not least, let’s do an age check.

The title of my post said I’ve been wasting time on the nets since 1994. My first experience was on PRODIGY. Who else remembers this? Or, does this give away the fact I’m not actually 29.


PS- You can breath a sigh of relief now. I did not buy Walmart jeggings with an elastic waist band. Just sayin.


Living room coup- check!

Living room coup- check!

In light of my resolution to simplify my life, I am going room by room getting things organized and dumping the junk. I mentioned in a previous post that Matt and I were going to get our living room back from the kids. Well, on Saturday we did!!

New living room:


New is relative since the couches and furniture are all the same. But, the layout is different and the baby jail is gone and over to the side of the room. This leaves a very distinct adult living room area which we were lacking since Jamie came along.

Old living room for reference:


We did get one new thing not pictured- a brand new flat screen tv!

Here’s what Jamie had to say about the new living room…..”Mama! Look at the big giant tv!”

Also, we have a coffee table, but I’m waiting until our little bruiser (aka Austin the chunk-a-monk) becomes a little less accident prone.

In other news, Just Dance on the Wii is so much more fun on the “big giant tv.”