DST, you are a BEAST!

DST, you are a BEAST!

So, this one time a long long long time ago I dated this guy who told me he was an enigma.


Ok. I can’t even type that with a straight face, cause who says that? Anywho, I think it’s probably obvious why that relationship didn’t last.

Moving on…so I think some of you know by this time that I am somewhat sarcastic, but what you don’t know about me is that I am an enigma. *snort*

Ok, no seriously. Beyond my apparent gift responding sarcastically to almost any subject (in my head), I also tend to be incredibly naive. Like, the kind of naive that makes people take pause for a moment.


On our honeymoon Matt took me to see David Copperfield. It also happened to be the day of my 29th birthday (the day I stopped aging). During the show, I got picked to go up on stage and be an extra for one of his acts. He was going to make me and about 7 other people disappear on stage.

Back story: I still believed in magic up until this point.

So, anyway….I’d love to tell you it was “magical” however, at one point when I was running like a maniac in heals backstage and stage hands were yelling at me, “Go! Go! Go!” (And not very nicely either) I’m thinking “WTF! I was supposed to disappear, why am I doing all the work??”

Afterwards, David Copperfield comes behind the stage and personally thanks us and is all, “This is my show and my secrets, blah blah, and don’t tell anyone what really happened or magic will *ahem* die.

Me: So there is no such thing as magic?

David: Yes. Magic is an illusion.

Me: Well, what about unicorns?

David: …

Yeah. I came out of there looking like someone jut told me there was no such thing as unicorns and Matt is all, “Hey! That was awesome! Are you going to tell me how they did it?”

Me (all defeated): No. I just found out there is no such thing as magic and all I got was this autographed picture of David Copperfield.

Matt: …

Imagine Matt’s surprise that his wife of three days actually thought she would magically POOF off the stage. I don’t think he was ready for that.

At this point you are probably wondering what this has to do with daylight savings time, but it does connect- I promise.

Last night, I didn’t change my clocks. I mean, Brighthouse had our cable box taken care of, AT&T had the phone, and my alarm clock.. Well, it’s magic. No, seriously. It sets itself. There are radio waves or some magnetic field at Hoover damn or something…maybe there are little elves who live in it, I really don’t know.

Sad fact: I should know why there are clocks that set themselves, but instead I choose to believe it is magic.

Scary fact: I like to tell small children that magic is the reason for lots of things I can’t explain….like why the automatic sink turns itself off or how that really long hair grew out of my chin overnight.

But, I digress. The fact is that this morning the kids were up at their normal wake-up times (7 and 7:30 am). Matt’s all mumbling in his sleep like, “What time is it?”

Me (all excited): It’s 7:40 am. The kids woke up at their normal times! Isn’t that awesome?

Matt: Yesterday’s time or the new time?

Me: New time. My alarm clock sets itself.

Matt: Are you sure about that?

So, I checked my cell phone and the damn thing said 6:40 am!!

It was like my birthday all over again.

Magic you failed me again!!!!

In other news, today we went to a corn maze with some friends and it was a blast.


Pig racing = awesome


Jamie acted like she could care less about the scarecrows, but wouldn’t pose for a pic with one


AND, I wore my skinny jeans out in public! *gasp!*


*Warning- legs appear skinnier in skinny jeans than in real life.

Well played, skinny jeans. Well played.

One thought on “DST, you are a BEAST!

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