My sweet hubby sent me an email this morning to let me know I’m not the only one who confused Virginia with “Vagina.”
Apparently, so did this first grader…
image found here
People, I am so freaking exhausted these days I’m like a walking pregnant zombie (that has to pee alot).
Example: This morning on my way to work I thought that the road read, “Vagina Dr.” But, really it read, “Virginia Dr.” Which, honestly, makes sense since that’s what the name has been all these years driving to school. I don’t know why today it should be different.
Lately, I’ve been hiding out in my house as much as possible. Mostly because I have a sick toddler and I’m required to, but Matt said that was just an excuse and I think he may be right. I would stay home no matter what. True.
Remember how I had that kidney stone last week? Well, I’m feeling so much better now. Wednesday, I felt wonderful at work for the first time in ages. However, that night Jamie had a fever all.night.long. She had it most of Thursday, too. Matt and I took shifts taking Jamie’s temperature all night long. She was stripped down to a diaper, given some tylenol, and the cool wash cloth treatment as her fever spiked from 101-102.9.
THEN, on thursday when her fever finally broke (around 3 pm) she got a rash!
Here’s a new piece of mommy advice for my new mommy friends:
Do not refer to Dr. Google for rash’s with fever.
It’s dumb. Oh, and it’s gross, too.
Anywho, it was none of the scary things I saw on google…just a viral rash. Fortunately, the rash did not come back, nor did the fever. However, she did develop a nasty cough over the weekend. By Monday, she got a runny nose. It’s been all kinds of sickly in our house and so as you can imagine I now have a sore throat these last two days. I’m hoping it’s just allergies and nothing real.
Did I mention that I am also taking a reading endorsement class? For the record, it is kicking my arse. If things weren’t changing next year, I would drop out faster than you can say “booger.” However, things are changing and I’ve come so far. So, I will get back to the stupid lesson planning crap (what I’m supposed to be doing right now) as soon as I’m done with more important things- like writing a post on my neglected blog. Priorities, people!!
In the meantime, you should know that life hasn’t been all that terrible. I did finish off Babypalooza on Saturday and I’ve got some crafts to show for it. Expect those tomorrow!
Before you get excited, it wasn’t human.
It was calcified.
As in, I passed a kidney stone.
The last couple of days I have felt terrible!! I barely slept last night and I kept thinking I needed a day off of school, but with a specialist coming to see one of my preschool students tomorrow and a volunteer teacher certifying some of my high school students on Thursday, it just seemed impossible. I started to sense I was passing a stone on Monday when I got a sharp pain in my lower back while at school that actually made me dizzy. I thought I was going to pass out.
I started freaking out today when I started researching with Dr. Google (I know…bad idea) and found that the only remedy for kidney stones in pregnant women is to either go on bed rest with an IV or get a stent put in. Neither of which works for me right now.
On the way home from school I was almost in tears because I knew I was reaching the point of miserable and that something needed to be done soon. However the stress of thoughts like preterm labor, going on leave early, the baby shower I’m helping to plan this weekend, that stupid reading endorsement class that I can’t miss or else I have to start over, begins to set in and I start freaking out even more.
When I get home I see on the monitor that Jamie is still napping and I hear Matt in the shower. I go to the bathroom to pee and the most amazing thing happens…I pass that wretched stone!
The good news is that this the stupid stone that has been hanging out in my left kidney since my last kidney stone in Nov. 2010. So, I should be free of stones, right? Well, I don’t know…I’ll be talking to my OB and my Urologist for the next couple of days about this. But, I really hope so. I’ve been so careful about my diet.
At least it came out on it’s own! I already feel relief in my back. Let’s hope I sleep better from here on out!
Just so you know, these were only two-thirds of one of those flats of strawberries. The rest was either consumed or sliced with sugar and put in the freezer.
Also, I lied.
This is not my new hobby. It was too labor intensive for me.
And, since I’m too tired to give you a proper tutorial, I’ll give you my lazy man version.
1) Slice a shit load of strawberries.
2) Add a shit load of sugar and boil.
3) Follow instructions for jarring on the jar box.
Easy peasy (lies)!
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When I told one of my friends that I had a new lazy way to make grilled cheese she says to me,
“No offense, but a grilled cheese is kind of already easy to make….how much lazier can it get?”
So, I explained to her that although a grilled cheese is easy, it involves turning on an oven and using a pan and cooking utensils. That means dishes. I don’t have energy for dishes. So, I invented an easier way.
Don’t worry. It didn’t take a lot of thought. I don’t have many brain cells left these days (as you can probably tell). Now that I’ve been indulging in these for the last 8 months, I feel ready to divulge my secret. Anything to help my mommy/busy/lazy friends. I’m good like that. 🙂
Lazy Man’s Grilled Cheese:
Cheese of your choice (sliced or shredded no matter)
*You’ll also need a toaster, microwave, and paper plate.
1. Toast two slices of bread.
2. Add your choice and amount of cheese (I like to use two slices of cheddar with two slices of Muenster. But, I’ve also used shredded cheese
when I’m desperate in a pinch.
3. Put sandwich on a paper plate.
4. Microwave for 15-25 seconds or until cheese is melted to your liking.
5. Eat sandwich.
6. Throw away plate.
I know what you are thinking.
I am crazy I am a genius.