Elmo could rule the world!
Elmo could rule the world!
Jamie’s vlog, part deux…
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I have been in a weird obsessive state these days.
Don’t worry. Nothing crazy. Just knitting. And, knitting. And, knitting….why blog when I can knit?
Behold a baby afghan and matching hat….
And before you’re all like, “Oh, my gosh! How does she do it? Works full time, takes care of her child, blogs, plans multiple baby showers, almost finished with her reading endorsement, takes teenagers to Orlando this weekend (yeah), and knits her first two projects with multiple colors (and lace at that!)?!?!?”….
Ok, I know you weren’t thinking that.
My point here is that it took me almost two years to finish these. I started in May 2010 when I was pregnant with Jamie. These were supposed to be for her.
Well, maybe the next baby will love them?
Anyhow, I’m on a knitting kick and now working on my next project – baby hat with bear ears! Cute!
Well, we’ll see….obviously, you shouldn’t hold your breath.
Anyhow, while I’ve been getting my knit on, life has continued. This weekend I will be taking 5 teenagers to Orlando. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know this is an annual thing I do for the club I sponsor (Future Educators of America). I hate it and love it all the same. I mean, taking 5 teenagers anywhere that isn’t home to their parents is no fun. However, I do enjoy the conference in general, and there is usually good food. Not to mention that hotel room I get all.to.myself. Yes, you heard right. Now, if only I got to sleep in and even sleep well (since I’m constantly nerve-wracked one of my students is off finding boys are drinking alcohol while I’m asleep) it could actually be a little slice of heaven for two nights. But, not really. Oh, well. I’ll relish the alone time and bring my knitting along.
OH, and I can’t forget to mention my other new obsession these days….Downton Abbey. Anyone else watching that? Between the knitting and the masterpiece theater series I’m watching with a target audience of 50-60 year old women, I’m downright sexy these days. Throw in the baby belly and I’m pretty sure Matt throws up in his mouth a little bit every time he sees me on the couch knitting baby hats and watching PBS.
Speaking of baby belly, mommy-butt has made an appearance…it could be worse, though, as cankles could be here, too. So, yeah. Mommy-butt is back. HOWEVER, I would like to mention for all the internet to know that this mommy-butt can still go down a kiddie slide. Did you hear me?? One day at the park Matt got a little worried that my mommy-butt was going to get stuck in the middle of the slide and Jamie would catapult out of my lap, but for the record, it was a smooth ride down. Smooth, I tell you. Smooth like BUTTER….
I’ll leave you with that visual.
Jamie’s first vlog entry….
On a more serious note for this blog, I wanted to take a time out to recognize and remember that today is a day of loss for Matt, Jamie, and I.
Today, would have been the due date of the little one we lost this past June.
I don’t usually like talking about this, and especially on the Internets, but there are many thoughts running through my head on this day and I feel I should recognize them, for me and our angel baby, and for other miscarriage survivors.
One thing I have told only a handful of people is what happened the day I went in for my D&C. See, I had wanted to miscarry naturally, but since the baby had stopped growing at 5 1/2 weeks and I was technically almost 11 weeks and showing some signs of a low-grade fever, we decided to go ahead with the procedure. I have to admit, that I was almost relieved to go in for the procedure. My body didn’t seem to want to get rid of the baby naturally and in a way I needed the whole nightmare to end. I know this will make sense to some of you that I say that….
But, anyhow….the night before Matt took me on a nice date to the Melting Pot, and while we were there I started to miscarry naturally a little bit. However, because of where I was in the pregnancy, they decided to go ahead on with the D&C the next morning. I was in a lot of pain and they wanted to make sure to get all the tissue out.
I remember being in a fog as they wheeled me into the room and started my IV drip. I just kept telling myself that life would move on when it was all done. I had Jamie and Matt and I have a wonderfully blessed life. I would move on.
When I woke up, I was all woozy from the drugs, but I remember thinking, “Oh, my God. It’s done. The baby is gone.” And, I started crying. As the nurses wheeled me back to my room I cried silently. One of the nurses leaned over to me and said words I will never forget.
“I’m so sorry. I just went through this a couple of months ago. I know how hard it is.”
I stopped crying as the realization hit me just how many women go through miscarriage.
I told her I was sorry for her loss and she said, “No. I’m sorry for you today. I’ve already gone through this.”
The fact is that they estimate that miscarriage happens in 1 in 4 pregnancies. 1 in 4! Some women go through multiple miscarriages. I have several friends who have gone through 3 and more.
I am sad today, but I also keep in mind that had I not miscarried our angel baby last June, I would not be carrying this little boy I have in my womb today. It is a bittersweet day in many ways. I have moved on, but will always remember and cherish this day.
With death, there is life. On the very same day of our loss last June, we gained a new niece! I have that to cherish as a memory of that day as well. Life has moved on.
If you are a miscarriage survivor, the following sites offer support for you:
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” 1 Corinthians 13:7-8
I have no idea what’s happening in the real world. But, I can tell you that according to Katy Perry, Russell Brand was a “crazy husband.” I can also tell you that Beyonce and Jay Z $1.3 million to seal themselves off from the public in the hospital where they delivered their baby girl.
I know, right!
You must me think me an idiot, but therein lays the randomness of this blog. In an effort to try and streamline this blog and find my “niche” (the key to successful blogging apparently) I tried to find the foundation of my thoughts. And basically what I figured out was that my brain is a random mess, anyhow. There’s no way I can streamline my thoughts into writing something practical…like maybe into something about the move of education from brick and mortar to online. Or how some countries hate us, or maybe the origin of the moon. This morning I heard something briefly on the radio about soldiers desecrating a dead body, and then I changed it promptly….but Britney Spears looking extra slim these days….ding, ding, ding! Let me check that out on the nets when I get home/work.
Anyhow, in an effort to get about as controversial as I’m willing to get on this blog, let me just say that I think that my thought process makes me a freaking genius!
Some might call me naive, but I like to call it “freshly optimistic” or a “romantic,” of sorts.
For instance, Matt might come home and say, “Hey, did you hear about the teenager who killed her parents because they would let her date this guy? Crazy, right?”
Me: “No….oh! Look at Lily cuddling over there with Boo! Isn’t that so cute!”
Matt: “Hey, Suzanne! Come here and look at what happens to a car if it hits a tree after it hydroplanes.”
Me: “No thanks, but I was thinking we may need to talk to the hospital about sealing off our labor room when baby boy is born…you know. For safety reasons.”
Wait!? See, I do think about important things! My baby’s safety is very important, right?
When you’re “freshly optimistic” about life you don’t sit around and worry that another country wants to bomb yours or that the end of the world might be coming up before the year is up, or anything else serious like that. Instead you can search google for DIY home improvement ideas and cute party favors for your sisters baby shower without any worries.
Honestly, I think that’s why I look so young. *cough*
By the way, there is one thing bothering me these days. What’s with these conspicuous gray hairs that keep growing straight out of my head? Can anyone tell me why they must grow in the opposite direction of the rest of “naturally” color-enhanced hair? Or why instead of coming out straight like the rest of my hairs, they are wirey and unruly? Now, that is something to worry about…
PS- In “for real, for real” important things happening in my life I would like to mention that after testing students for their certifications last week to work in a preschool, I found out that we got an 83% passing rate! That’s HUGE for me! The highest passing rate EVER here at Tarpon and I deed it ahhh by my self!!
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I hope you’ll stick around to read!