Since announcing the pregnancy, some people are curious about whether or not we proceeded with Infertility treatments this summer. I had originally thought that we would possibly proceed with another IVF this past summer if there was another study. In fact, in the middle of May, I did start getting my body ready for another IVF and had intentions of calling the office for study information.
However, during that time I actually found out that I was pregnant! Sadly, that pregnancy ended in miscarraige in the middle of June. I have to admit that it was a real slap in the face, but at the same time it was a jolt into reality.
See, back when we were trying to conceive Jamie, we were told explicitly that we had a less than 1% chance of getting pregnant on our own. In fact, as Dr. Sanchez told us, “it would be a miracle.” When we found out at that time that we were pregnant I was in complete shock. It was my miracle.
To be honest, I didn’t figure out I was pregnant until I was about 7 weeks. Although I didn’t miscarry until 10 weeks, the baby had stopped growing around 6 weeks. I found out around 9 weeks that the pregnancy was not viable.
I think at that time I just assumed that the pregnancy wasn’t meant to be because I wasn’t meant to get pregnant on my own.
Even though we were sad at the outcome of that pregnancy, it did give me a renewed sense of what my body was capable of. See, I had actually completely given up the idea that we could pregnant on our own until it happened. After that loss, I went on prenatals, took baby aspirin, drank less wine (I know!), and made sure to eat right.
In the middle of August, I had a very vivid dream that I took a pregnancy test and that it was positive. The next day I remember thinking that I must be having that dream because of all the pregnant ladies at work. But, a nagging feeling in the back of my mind forced me to test that afternoon. I would have bet $1 million dollars that the test would be negative. As you can imagaine, I was again in complete disbelief when the test came out positive.
At first I thought that it must be residual tissue from the miscarraige. It just didn’t seem to be possible to me that Infertile Suzanne could get pregnant twice accidentally before her baby even turned 1 years old. It was insane.
Two ultrasounds, and several confirmed heartbeats later, I was convinced. Not to mention that horrible morning sickness I’ve been having this time around.
So, yeah. I’m pregnant. Me. Accidentally and surprisingly pregnant. My babies will be a little over 18 months apart. Crazy!
I suppose it is a miracle. After all, life itself is a miracle all on its own.