The stuff no ones tells you about Motherhood

The stuff no ones tells you about Motherhood

Listen, everyone knows that you are never fully prepared for parenthood. I mean, you can have all the money in the world, a nanny, the biggest house, or nothing at all and it won’t make a difference. It is unlike anything you will ever experience in your life. BUT, there are some things I think you could be warned about. So, I’m making it my job to blog about such crazy and unexpected things you may come across while being a mother.

Let’s take baby nails for instance.

First, I would like to say that baby talons nails are very sharp. Ca-razy sharp. And, if that wasn’t freaky enough, these talons nails grow at  an exceptional pace. I’m pretty sure that there was one time I trimmed Jamie’s nails before bath one evening, and by the time she went to bed they were back to their claw-like quality tearing and scratching at my face. No joke.

And then there was Tuesday. On Tuesday I noticed that Jamie’s adorable little baby toe claws were reaching maximum scratch capacity. Jamie was in a good mood for the first time in a while (thank you double ear infections) so I took advantage of this moment in the day to start clipping away while she was playing on her changing table.

Have you ever clipped a baby nail? Gees. As if super sharp freaky fast growing nails isn’t enough, they are also paper-thin and nearly impossible to cut. How is it these things scratch so easily when they fold under a clipper? I’ll file that under e=mc squared and why I don’t have spanx with a pee hole, I guess.

Anywho, nails were flying everywhere and at one point I thought one may have shot me in the eye, but after further evaluation it seemed like my eyeball was spared until I was washing up for bed. I started washing my face and thought I got some soap in my eye. Instead, I find a little baby toe nail in my eye.

People, I had a baby toe nail in my eye for approximately 6 hours!

A toenail.

In my eyeball!

On the bright side, I am happy to report that my eye wasn’t swollen shut the next morning.

I guess there could be worse things in my eye…(right?) *shrug*



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