From the mouth of Teens

From the mouth of Teens

We have a school newspaper, and this last issue came with an interesting article I want to share with you. I think it’s hilarious and applicable to any age group.

Angie, if you’re reading this…Awesome job on the newspaper! 🙂

  

Undateable

Teens realize their relationship faux pas as they go from undateable to dateable

By MN

As Prom comes and passes, many singles around campus will continue to  feel lonely and continue to seek out that “special one.” Unfortunately, what a lot of these people don’t realize is that they are undateable. Contrary to popular belief (or what our parents told you), your sparkling personality might not get you by this time around. Listen to my advice, and maybe even you can go from undateable to dateable.

  1. Excessive makeup- This one is exclusively for the ladies. A lot of girls on campus are beautiful, but because of unresolved daddy issues they cake on the make-up like a fourth of July bake sale. A little bit of eye shadow and a smudge of concealer might spruce you up a bit, but slathering on the cover-up like you’re basting a turkey only makes you look like Snooki, and nobody wants to date Snooki.
  2. Mandals with socks- No! Just no! If you’re so desperate to wear socks, go the extra mile and just put on the shoes. You look like…well, there’s really no comparison to be made here. You just look stupid. Nobody wants to date you when you whip out the slip-on sandals and the tube socks.
  3. Dirty Car- I’m guilty of this from time to time, but I would never want a lady I was courting to see my car in such disarray. I know you think your Wendy’s bag and nasty gym clothes on the floorboard screams, “Ravage me right where I sit,” but I promise you it will never make anybody swoon.
  4. Chewing Tobacco- Mmmm. Who wouldn’t want to make out with a mouth that just spit out a glob of viscous black liquid into a water bottle? Stop it. It’s making me hot just thinking about it. Oh, and how could I forget the portion of your jaw that will be removed from cancer in thirty years? Sexy. And when you’ve found that lovely lady that likes Skoal, you know you’ve found the one. Hold on for dear life and never let go.
  5. Scratching yourself/picking your butt- What’s the best way to say, “Look at me, I have class?” Reach down and give a nice little scratch. So not only is this gross and sort of repulsive, it also hints to us that there is something down there that’s itching, and I know I don’t want to find out what it is.

 

Bravo, little man! I agree wholeheartedly. I forsee this litle guy having an excellent career in blogging one day, don’t you?

***Article from The Sponger Sentinel Volume 7, Issue 2, May 2011

{Suzie}

One thought on “From the mouth of Teens

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