Thursday Writer’s Workshop

Thursday Writer’s Workshop

Describe a food you abhor

Did you know that I hate mushrooms? I do…I hate them with a passion! I can’t stand the rubberiness of them. the fungal smell…the little gill like things on them. Everything makes me cringe. Seeing mushrooms in a meal is a travesty, in my very dear opinion. It completely ruins the taste of a salad or pizza or any other dish. Some people think that mushrooms don’t taste like anything, but I think they taste like the dirt they come from mixed with a little vomit.  When I see mushrooms in my food I immediately begin to pick them out and hope they haven’t infiltrated the taste of my meal. I abhor Mushrooms!

Mama’s Losin’ It


4 thoughts on “Thursday Writer’s Workshop

  1. Suzie,

    No wiser words have been spoken.

    It is an honest travesty that fungi have crawled up the rotting chain of delicacies in this country. Everywhere you look, this shadow dweller has managed to slap its way on top of a delicious salad or pizza pie. “Go back to your moist underworld!” we say. “Find that decomposing bark and do what you do best.”

    And shame to those who (dare I say?) ‘REQUEST!’ these gag-inducing organisms. Take note ER centers around the world: If I suffer from a case of alcohol poisoning, toss aside the charcoal and bring on the mushroom slices. Gleaming slices, always cold, looking like a cross section of a brain, and rubbery texture that reminds me of manta ray skin. You do not crunch, squish, mush, or slide; what are you?? Just one bite will induce the gag-works, for no one can describe your ghostly texture.

    Heed the call of unity! And pick up our strongest weapon against the invading growers: the fork.

    One poke and wedge-motion will peel them right off the awaiting meal. Pizzas may leave their outline like chalk at a murder scene, but stay strong, and bend the fork back – catapulting the slice into the face of the ignorant waiter or unsuspecting host. That will show them. “That thing stuck to your forehead, yea, you can keep that. Thanks.” Bon appetit!

    Proud to serve the cause,



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