Something embarrassing that happened at school
I was by no means, “Miss Popularity” going through school, although that’s not to say that I was the dorkiest kid, either. I hovered somewhere in the middle between the kid picked last in PE and saying hello to the pretty girls in the halls. Let’s face it, people. I’m not what one might call “athletic,” and I’m ok with that. But, I was quiet and shy and kept to my small comfortable group friends (many of whom I am still friends with). I was happy to not be popular, I don’t like being the center of attention, believe it or not.
What I am about to tell you is something I have kept in the deepest darkest crevices of my memories. Remember that I told you I was shy? Well, that also included talking to my teachers and asking them such things as, “Can I use the restroom.” And, since I was always scared of being late to class, I never went to the restroom during school hours. Which meant I held it in all.day.long.
I think you know where I’m going with this.
When I was in the sixth grade, I used to walk about 1.5 miles to and from school. It wasn’t in the snow, or barefoot, or backwards, but it was a long trek. Especially if you had to use the restroom because there were multiple parties which included soda do to a holiday. It started early on in the day. Around 2nd period I felt the slightest inkling of the urge to urinate. By 5th period it was a real need and by 7th I was close to a state of emergency.
I still had 1.5 miles to walk home, though. So, I very uncomfortably started the walk home with my good friend Sara in tow (toe not “tow”, I was still a “west” then- LOL!). It was horrible and torturous, but I walked on with my legs clamped as tightly shut as possible. There were times when I thought I would lose the battle, but I got just outside the neighborhood, just eye distance to my house and I hadn’t let a trickle slip, yet. I was golden (er, shower, that is)!
At that moment Sara looks over at me and confides she has a confession to make.
“I kept a lizard in my pocket at school all day, today,” she says.
“No, you didn’t.”
Sara pulls a small but very alive lizard from her pocket.
“I did. Look, he likes me to wear him like an earring,” and promptly attached him to her ear lobe where he dangled dutifully.
I erupted into laughter, in disbelief that my friend had gotten away with a live animal in her pocket. At which point my bladder decided to take suit and erupt as well. All over myself and the sidewalk…
This wasn’t your typical pee session. It was a fountain’s worth. Non-stop. I couldn’t stop the flow. I literally peed myself, in front of my friend, in public view, on the sidewalk, for the longest 2 minutes or so of my life.
At least it didn’t happen in front of the whole class…