Well, I’m typing this from the hospital. We are still here and hoping to check out by tomorrow in the early afternoon. Matt is doing well, although I will admit that this has been no picnic in the park.
I maybe slept 1 hour the night before the surgery, which was not good!!! Not because of being tired, but because I couldn’t handle my already hormonal emotions. By the time Matt walked into the surgery suite for pre-op I was sobbing hysterically in the waiting room, which I later found out worried the nurses and prompted them to get him ready for surgery quickly so I could go in and be with him until they wheeled him away.
You can imagine my response when he was wheeled away by the actual surgery. I held it together until he couldn’t see me and then broke down again. I was still coherent enough to go to my car and cry it out there rather than in the waiting room where people were startled.
I would like to take this time to mention that there are still really nice people in this world. The poor son of the lady having surgery by the same dr. right before Matt pitied me and had rather random conversation with me for quite awhile about snoring, pillows, and the anchor lady whom he was concerned about because she had been doing the weather report seated for the last 2 days. It did make me stop crying and for that I am grateful. I didn’t get to see him again after that, but if I did I would thank him for his kindness.
Realizing I hadn’t eaten, I forced myself to have a bagel, egg, and cheese sandwich from the deli for the baby. But I was shaking like crazy and felt like I might lose my breakfast afterwards.
Ok, for the record I wasn’t concerned that something horrible (which I won’t even speak out loud) was going to happen to Matt. I was more upset about the terrible pain he would be in, the fact that they had to force a breathing tube in his throat, imagining him on the operating table and so on….
Yesterday, after I had a nap or two with Matt it was easier for me to keep it together while he was starting to feel the pain when the nerve block wore off. Last night was a different story though. It was a rough night, but I was able to keep from losing it somehow. It is very difficult to see your loved one in so much pain. I can’t stand it, and I can’t even imagine doing this again, which we will be doing next month…
Honestly, this is one of the worst things I have had to go through. I have had to force myself to eat the last two days, and I wouldn’t bother if it weren’t for the fact that I have our precious little girl growing inside me. And this is just me….can you imagine what Matt is going through??? I can’t even think about it because it is just too upsetting to me.
All this said, Matt is doing much better today. He walked (with a walker) 250 ft around the nurses station twice and has eaten solid food all day. He really is so much stronger than me and thank God for that because two wimps would not make for good parents.
This ordeal, although horrendous as it was for us, is almost over and for that I am so grateful. But, I am also grateful that for how this is brought us so much closer together. Matt realizes that I would do anything for him because I did. I didn’t sleep a wink last night because I was up all night trying to make him comfortable and get whatever he needed when the nurses weren’t available or they were too slow to do it. Let’s just say I was very observant and now know where they keep a few essential items (extra pillows, blankets, towels, etc) so that he wouldn’t have to wait. I am exhausted, but thrilled that Matt seemed to be in less pain this evening. I’m hoping he can sleep through most of the night tonight so he can get some real rest after last night’s ordeal.
Funny thing is that today is our 3 years anniversary, but we both totally forgot!! This surgery has been nerve-wracking for the both of us, but at the same time, we’ve been able to spend quality time together so it’s not a bad anniversary after all!
Before I go, I just wanted to thank those of you who have called, sent me messages, and texts supporting us through the surgery. It really means a lot to us both!!