I’ve had some people ask me when I’m going to let the public know that I’m- “you know.”
Honestly, I keep going back and forth with this. The thing is that I’ve got to fess up sooner or later. I mean eventually a baby will pop out and I’ll have to explain that. Not to mention the fact that I just “appear” pregnant to some. I’ve had several coworkers ask me, plus you already know about my very perceptive students and some of the preschool parents that have called me out.
When I get back from spring break (April 5th) I will be in the second trimester. That’s really only two more weeks that I need to “hide” things at school, so I figured this will be a good jumping off point. And, since I’m completely paranoid (and terrified), I’ve decided to push it even further and wait until Wednesday morning (the 7th) before I make the big “announcement”. I’ll have my 14 week check up on the 6th in the afternoon, so that way I can feel 100% confident that all is good before I tell the world.
In the meantime, I’ve made a big leap and purchased some maternity clothes online. Although my sister in law gave me a ton of clothes I can use casually and during the summer, I don’t really have any for work. Last week, I wore a pair of pants that I had to painfully zip up and leave unbuttoned only to find I couldn’t unzip them when I needed to use the restroom a hundred times that day. Not cool! Also, I’m tired of rigging up all my clothes with rubber bands and bella bands and such. I’ll probably bring those new maternity outfits out when I get back from the break, too.
By the way- maternity clothes are not cool. Plus, you can’t really trust when outfits come in sets. Yeah- Motherhood has some outfits that come in sets!!! It reminded me of garanimals for kids. Weird! Plus, the no zippers and buttons is a little strange.
Which leads me to this blog. I originally set this blog up when I wanted to talk about some of my intimate feelings and concerns about the next fertility treatment I was about to embark on. At the time, I was really scared and never expected to get pregnant from it. After all, it hadn’t really worked in the past. I set this blog up to talk about those feelings and discuss some of the experiences I was going through.
SO, I’ve decided that I’m going to keep this blog solely about infertility once I make my pregnancy announcement. I’ll move all baby posts to my public blog which is read by many of my family members and friends. I’m also thinking that I will clean up this blog- remove some flaming posts, and make it public. One thing I realize in the last couple years of my infertility is that I desperately needed to talk about it and read about it. I read some infertility blogs on my own which have been incredibly helpful to me. I’d like to talk about my own journey, crazy things I’ve done to get pregnant, and little bits of research I’ve done to help others just like they’ve helped me. I think this blog will be the best forum for that. So, expect some changes in the next few weeks.
Before I go, I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge and thank all of you for being such a great support system for me. As you can probably tell, and may very well know from your own accounts, the last couple of years have been exceptionally difficult for me. I went through times when I didn’t want to leave my house because I couldn’t be with friends who had babies or I couldn’t stand to hear who else was pregnant, or I would just feel like having a break down when I would see pregnant people in the mall or grocery store. If I didn’t have family, real-life friends and blogger friends to help me through the way, I may have never left my house. Thanks for caring and for sympathizing with me even if you had no idea what I was going through. That will never be forgotten.