Menu Monday (a day late)

Menu Monday (a day late)

Good news! I’m cooking again! Plus, Matt found out that I post a weekly menu on here and now he’s keeping me accountable. Gah!!

Monday: Angel Hair Spaghetti with Tomato Turkey Sauce
Tuesday: Tuna and Noodles with a Twist (this is very yummy by the way. I may have to post this recipe at a later date)
Wednesday: Leftovers (we’ve got a ton and I don’t want to waste good food)
Thursday: Mini Turkey Meatloaves, Parsley Potatoes, and Lemon Asparagus
Friday: 15 Cajun Bean Soup with Rice

I’m on Spring Break!!

I’m on Spring Break!!


I’m so excited to have a week off! It really makes a difference to get rejuvenated again for school. My favorite part of Spring Break is that things start to go much more quickly from now until the end of the school year. Then, I get the summer off! Yay!!

This week I’ve got a ton of spring cleaning things I need to get done. Here’s my schedule…let’s see if I stick to it:

1) Organize the upstairs storage closet
2) Spruce up the back porch (pull weeds, get rid of the dead bushes from the cold winter, put in new live ones and fresh mulch)
3) Organize my night stand and bedroom closet
4) Organize my craft trunk and downstairs closets
5) Move items from the hutch into the curio cabinet
6) Organize the baker’s rack in the kitchen

It’s alot, I know!!! I’ll be happy if I at least get the first two items on the list done…

I’ll keep you updated (of course).

The latest and greatest dream (plus a little plug)

The latest and greatest dream (plus a little plug)

These days I’ve had to purchase some good ole granny panties (tmi, I know). But, well, I feel kind of a mixture of emotions about this. Has anyone read “Belly Laughs” by Jenny McCarthy? She has a chapter that perfectly describes my feelings on this, but really it’s a mixture of insecurity and comfort.

You know….I feel like an old lady and very unsexy wearing them, but at the same time they feel like heaven!

My point is that I had a dream about them. In my dream I went to go visit an old and favorite teacher of mine. I sat on her sofa and we watched a little bit of the news while we talked and caught up. When I got up we were looking for the remote to turn off the tv. We couldn’t find it. And then, all of the sudden, I feel it in my underwear! Yes! It was caught on the edge of my big ole granny panties. *sigh*

Since I’m already embarrassing myself talking about my big granny panties, let’s go ahead and mention that my gigantic boobs don’t fit in my bras anymore. So, I went over to Stellies Bellies (a new maternity/baby consignment on 19 in Palm Harbor) hoping to find (not other peoples underwear) but maybe a jog bra or something until I got the guts to go into a store and get fitted. Anyway, I met Stella, the owner. What a sweetie! She really got to get to know me and when I told her I worked at Tarpon High she gave me stacks of $5 off coupons for any of the teens that may be pregnant or just had a baby. She also told me to call her if I have specific students, because she always has extra clothes that she can’t sell that she likes to give away to people in need. How awesome is that! I’m always in awe of just how amazing and giving people are. So, I just wanted to take the time to plug Stellies Bellies for any of my local blogger friends. (I can maybe hook you up with a couple of coupons, too) 🙂

The worst part of infertility

The worst part of infertility

I’ve had a lot of time to think about what the worst parts of the last couple years have been for me. You would think that I would stop thinking about the infertility now that I’m pregnant, but I don’t. It’s still a part of me, no matter what my current situation. Being pregnant doesn’t take away the process it took to get here and I will never forget the trials and tribulations it took me to get to this point in my life. I think it makes me appreciate all I have even more than I already do.

Which brings me back to the worst part.

You might be thinking it’s the fear of not getting pregnant that almost drove me to insanity, but believe it or not it wasn’t. That was a big part of the situation, but not the crux of the problem.

The real issue is the emotional roller coaster I’ve been on. A horrific roller coaster that seems to virtually have no end to it. Even now.

Every single cycle started with fresh hope. Hope that this could be the cycle that I finally start a family with Matt. A new chance; a new beginning that ended with 2 weeks (or more, in my case) of the highly anticipated extra pink line on the pee stick. For me, these cycles ended in despair and depression.

The logical part of me knew that the longer I tried, the better my chances were of getting pregnant. But, the vulnerable and scared me felt terrified for every extra second it took us to get pregnant.

By the time the fertility treatments started I was renewed with fresh hope. After all, this would be the closest I would ever get to being pregnant, right? This was our best chance of our entire time trying to reach victory. As you can imagine, this made the anticipation of the extra pink line all the more important. Failure was even more desolate.

In order to cope with the pain of all the disappointment I stopped anticipating that extra pink line. By the time I got to my second IVF, I can’t even say that I had the same renewed hope that I had in my other cycles. I was so tired of the up and downs of that roller coaster I was on, so I gave up in a way. All I ever knew was the blank line of the hpt. I almost looked forward to the end of that two week wait and the missing line. I just wanted to move on with my life.

As you can imagine, it was complete shock for me to actually see that extra pink line one day. I had imagined all the different ways I would react when the time would come. You know what? I did none of those things. Instead I stared at it in shock, shook the stick around, tapped on the counter, held up to the light, shook it around some more and just stared. I stared and stared at it for weeks. I stared at it until it turned a gross yellow color and had to be thrown away. But, I still took a picture of it and stared at it some more. I still stare at it.

Sometimes, I get angry at myself for not enjoying this pregnancy a little more. I know that every one who’s pregnant has some fear in them about staying pregnant, but in many ways I feel like my fear is more than the norm. It’s not like I can just get pregnant again should something terrible happen.

There’s also the selfish me that wants that family I’ve always hoped for. The three to four kids running around and causing chaos in my house just seems like a dream at this point. I get scared that this is my one and only pregnancy. I would be devastated to not give my child a sibling. The fact is that getting pregnant again is just not a given for me and Matt, though.

All this said, I am truly so happy to have this chance at being a mother. I wasn’t sure it would ever happen to me. I am in awe of the science and technology that has given me this chance. I am so thankful.

Every single day I imagine what it will be like to go through labor and hold my baby. I know I will cry harder than I ever have before. I cry now just thinking about that day. Want to know something kind of funny? I’m not even scared of labor. I know I won’t need drugs. After all, that pain will be nothing compared to the pain I endured the past couple of years just be here, now.

I graduated my first Cake Decorating Class!

I graduated my first Cake Decorating Class!

I did it! I did it!

This last cake we made included roses we handmade with butter cream frosting.

Here’s what I learned from this class…
1) Cake Decorating is hard.
2) Making roses out of frosting is REALLY hard.
3) I still haven’t mastered frosting the base of the cake without getting crumbs in it. Gah!!
4) The stand mixer makes making gallons of icing SO much easier!
5) I’m good at making stars, clowns, dots, and leaves.
6) My cakes still taste good. 🙂
I start level two on April 6! This class is specifically about making flowers which will be the death of me! But, I do need the practice. Also, we only make one cake (at the end of the course). The rest of the time we just make, well, flowers. Lots of them. So, I won’t have that many fun pictures to post.
It’s probably a good thing we’re only making one cake next class. My nether regions are going to Hell and Matt has gained 5 pounds!