I’m still pregnant.
I’m still in disbelief.
I just can’t believe it. I don’t know. I think this is another one of those cons of Infertility. I feel like if I hadn’t gone through this nightmare the last 2 years that I would just be naively delirious with excitement. Instead I’m terrified that it’s not real or that it just won’t last.
I took two more tests today. The line on the FRER came up instantly and got pretty dark. “Pregnant” came up on the CBE digital in like 20 seconds. I guess this really is real. I’ll just bite my nails until Friday hoping my Beta results prove me right.
Matt and I decided to go ahead and tell our parents and family today. They’ve been calling me everyday asking me how things are going and I just felt so guilty leaving them out of this. Plus, I know this sounds negative, but I just don’t know how long I’ll be pregnant for. They’ve been such a huge part of this process. I just couldn’t keep it a secret any longer.
We stopped by my parents house unexpectedly under the pretenses that we had some news about our up coming Vegas trip (more on that later). My mom cried like a baby and my dad was totally shocked! He kept saying…”I’m going to be a Grandpa??” It was so sweet!
Matt’s parents we called. They happened to be at my nephew’s baptism and afterwards the whole family had gotten together. So, basically one BIG announcement was made to Matt’s entire family. My 5 year old niece, Brooke, got on the phone and said,
“Aunt Suzanne, I’m so happy you’re going to have a baby! Is it going to be a girl or a boy? I’d like a girl…”
I told her I would see what I can do about that.
Anyhow, amongst all the excitement and phone calls I have not forgotten that I have still yet to get my beta results and confirmation from the Dr. So, we’re not telling anyone else for a while. Only you lucky few are the ones to get this info besides my own family. In the meantime I’m just going to take it day by day and thank God that today I am pregnant.
PS- I received some very sweet emails from a few of you. I will respond to you tomorrow probably.
PPS- April, yes you can tell Kristy (but no one else). I could use all the sticky prayers I can get
PPPS- Um, Matt doesn’t know what I say on this blog, so please don’t tell him I told you all about the whole pregnant thing. He’d kill me if he knew I’d been telling people (bloggers or not)! 🙂 As far as he’s concerned, the only people that know are our families. oopsies….