Infertility and the Holidays

Infertility and the Holidays

The holiday’s sure are harder when you are infertile.

Especially, when you are on hormones.

I am consumed with thoughts of Santa one day coming to my house. Baking cookies with my children. The Elf on a Shelf.

But, let’s get back to those hormones. Oh, hormones. How, I hate thee. Actually, I hate most everyone right now. Have I told you that?

Yeah.

The other night we were at a bar with some friends. There is this girl who is a friend of a friend that is going through a divorce and was a little tipsy. The rational me doesn’t blame her. If I were going through a divorce I would be drunk, too. But the hormonal me……well, anyhow she annoyed me so terribly bad that I had to leave. Uh, huh. I actually felt violent. Like, I could shake the stupid out of her. I took the car home and Matt had to ride home with his brother.

Yesterday, we went to a BBQ at a friend’s house and there was this friend of Matt’s that is very nice and I like him, normally, but not yesterday. Actually, as of today I decided that he repulses me and that I never want to see him again. He ate a whole shrimp- shell, legs, tail, and all as well as a dog treat. I think to be funny, though he swears they tasted good. I just don’t think that’s funny. At least not when I’m sober and on hormones. I told Matt that I never want him to come to our house again. I actually mean it, too! Ewww! Who does that??

I’m also hating on a few others that I’m afraid to post on here because I think some of you might know them. Good news, though- I don’t hate any of you. πŸ™‚

My point: Lupron really is a bitch. And, so are the holiday’s when you are infertile and on Lupron.

IVF update: appointment tomorrow at 9 am

3 thoughts on “Infertility and the Holidays

  1. Ohhhh boy, I hate people too. I have broken down three times so far in NY because this hate is absolutely consuming me and I feel like there is no escape from it. I am actually going to start therapy when I get back to FL to see if I can control the hate, because it is impacting every aspect of my life. I hate hating; it is just not a part of my personality. I have fantasies of “fleeing” the source of my hate and moving far, far away to start a new life because it’s so hard to deal with. But I know that hate will still be there no matter what. This is turning into a rant now so I will stop…One day we will be free from all of this.

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  2. I don’t know why but the guy eating a whole shrimp disgusts me more than him eating the dog treat! That is just sick. I don’t blame you for being bitchy, you have every right. Like I said before at least you have a good excuse.Hopefully next Christmas will be different. πŸ™‚

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  3. Rikki- I agree. The shrimp is worse than the dog treat. Though, I’m pretty sure the Lupron may not be the culprit here. I think I hated him before, but the lupron is making it worse. LOL!Rebecca- I did go through therapy for a very long time when I first started going through this. Actually, I just stopped right before this school year. I also went on antidepressants for a while, too. It did help. But, you are right. The hating thing is terrible. I’m not used to hating people either so I get upset becuase I do and then it becomes this circle of sadness. It will pass one day. I hope.

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