I have an Angel sitting on my right shoulder and a Devil on the left. I broke one of my own rules today. Ok, I usually break most of my own rules, but not this kind of rule.
Today, I was at Big Lots picking up something for a gift exchange party we have this weekend when I saw something I had to have. Well, two things.
First, let me tell you what rule I broke.
“Never, EVER, buy anything for my future babies until I am actually pregnant and in my third trimester.”
I think you know where I’m going with this. First of all, it’s not what you think. I can’t go in the baby aisle’s without freaking out, so it’s not like that. What happened is….I was in the picture frame aisle browsing when I saw a frame for a baby. The kind that has the newborn pic in the in the middle and then spots for each month up until 1 year. Right next to that was a little kit that has a tube for the birth certificate, a box for the first curl and so on…all the firsts.
I bought them both.
Now, I have an angel on one side telling me to go back and get another set in case I have twins. The Devil is telling me I’m losing it and that I should return that shit before I totally lose my mind and have to be sent to the loony bin.
As if that’s not enough, I’ve been weepy ever since. Not actually crying (only halfway- like one of my 4 year old’s tells me). My eyes have swelled up with tears approximately 15-20 times since then (since about 3 pm) but I’m able to control it before I actually spill any tears. Well ok, one or two tears spilled one time when I was talking to Matt about it. No biggie.
So, remember yesterday’s post when I said I feel nothing? Looks like I am feeling something after all.
Good ole plain TERROR.
I just can’t go through this again.