Yes, we are finally back from Vegas. We got back late Monday evening, but I am still recuperating from the time change. I’ll get back to Vegas in a later post, but now for the news you have all been waiting for…
I AM NOT pregnant.
Without getting into too many details, I knew I was not pregnant the morning after we got to Vegas. No, it was not a negative HPT (I didn’t even have to take one that morning). It was mother nature in all her glory screaming at me what I already knew deep down. I confirmed it yesterday afternoon after my BETA results came in.
Yes, I am sad. Actually, let’s get real- sad is an understatement. I feel more like one notch underneath hysterics but I’m managing to keep it under control.
I don’t even know what else to say about it. Matt and I are both very obviously devastated that this didn’t work out for us. We had very high hopes and many dreams ready to come true. I do feel at times that it is totally and completely unfair, and yet at the same time I am aware of everything I do have (Matt and I are both healthy, financially we are ok, we each have a wonderful and supportive family, and of course all of you that have supported us, prayed, and sent positive vibes our way). I will never forget the kindness, generosity, and support of my family, friends, and readers. We are very lucky, indeed.
At this time, Matt and I will be taking a “break” of sorts from all this infertility crap. I’m so sick of being infertile- I don’t want to see another doctor or take another hormone ever again (or at least for a couple months). Don’t worry, we are not giving up. We are still going to do some more testing this summer. I do have another appointment this Thursday, but we will be limiting the procedures and such for a little while. My mind and body need a break.
Especially, my body.
Can you believe that when I got married in July of 2007 I was at 118 without even dieting or anything. One year of drinking whole milk and whatever other BS fatty items I was told would improve fertility I was at 130. Now, after fertility drugs, trigger shots, and hormone injections (plus quite a few buffets in Vegas) I’m just right at 140.
Just in time for bathing suit season I am at the highest weight of my life.
Prepare to read about my weight loss this summer….
Also, I will post Vegas pics and details later tonight.